Growing Up

This whole being super sick and in the hospital experience really has impacted my life and myself. My parents keep telling me that I've grown up a lot in the past month. Not only do I look older because I lost weight in my face, when I was super super sick I looked gaunt (it was scary, kind of like an anorexic super model, not good), anyway but I have had to adapt. For example, that first night I was in the ICU and it was unclear as to if I would get better or worse, my dad slept there the whole night. It wasn't pleasant for him but he needed to be there for any last minute decisions. The next night, after my family had visited, they made it clear that they were not going to be sleeping at the hospital anymore. My mom said it was better for everyone to sleep in their own beds and she asked if that would be okay. I made a worried face and though in my head "no, that's not okay. Don't leave me". Not to sound like a baby, but I was actually scared and even felt a little abandoned those first couple of nights. I was in a strange place, I was really sick, and didn't know what would happen to me. In a sense though it's good my parents didn't baby me and stick around. I am 17 after all and going to college next year. I guess this was just a wake up call. Now I am totally fine with sleeping away from home. My siblings on the other hand though...It was weird for them for me to be out of the picture, just gone. Poof! When I go to college I don't know what they'll do. :)